


The Darkest Ages Couldn't Kill

by Chash



Series: And So It Goes [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9666317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: It's a little weird, getting back together with someone after seven years. Good, obviously, great. But Clarke's got a little adjusting to do.





	

"I guess I should probably go home."

Clarke makes the offer because Monty and Jasper just took off, and it feels like the time. No one seems to have expected her to leave with them, but she'll admit to being a little unsure about where the rest of her day is going. They'd joked about getting dinner, but it's not like they need to go on a _date_. 

"Yeah," Bellamy says, easy, and her heart aches for a second, but just a second, because he immediately follows up with, "You didn't bring clothes or a toothbrush or anything. We should go to your place."

The relief of it is so sharp and swift that Clarke feels embarrassed about it, and then silly. He's her boyfriend again. More than her boyfriend, probably; it's _serious_ , the two of them. It's been less than twelve hours, and she's already sure of that. You can't have a casual relationship after what they went through, can't pretend you're just grabbing dinner and seeing where it goes.

She's going to marry him, unless she fucks it up again.

"You don't have to come with me," she tells him.

"Oh, good, I thought you were forcing me." He shifts a little closer, dropping a kiss onto the top of her head. They're in his and Miller's second-floor living room, alone now that they're done with video games and Miller decided to give them some privacy. Not that she wasn't snuggled against his side when everyone else was around, but she feels a little less self-conscious about it. "You did ask me to get dinner. Don't tell me you're backing out already."

"No, but--you could have stuff to do this weekend. We've got board games again tomorrow, so--"

"Clarke," he says, sounding amused. "You don't seriously think I want to do anything this weekend but be with you, do you?"

She buries her face against his shoulder, happy and embarrassed all at once. "Not really. But we probably should, right?"

"You know you haven't stopped touching me except to go to the bathroom, right?" he asks, after a short pause. "Like, not once. I'm not saying I mind, but if you go home I'm just going to be worried you're stressed out and lonely all night." Another pause, and then he adds, "Also, then I'd be here, _alone_ , so, seriously, fuck that. Unless you think Raven's going to mind."

"Definitely not. She's been telling me to hook up with you ever since she found out we used to date."

He shifts again, tugging her closer against his chest. "Yeah? When was that?"

"The camping trip."

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"I don't know, I guess I thought I would have come up sooner."

He doesn't sound offended, but she still feels a little guilty about it. "Honestly, I didn't really tell anyone about you unless I had to. Not--" She exhales. "It sucked to talk about, and I didn't want anyone to know I was still upset, so I just didn't. Talk about you. I kept meaning to tell her once she moved here, but--"

"Yeah, that makes sense." He rubs her shoulder. "I was kind of jealous of her, you know."

"Raven?"

"Yeah. She's gorgeous, you guys were friends, I figured you'd make a pretty great couple. I was trying really hard to be happy for you."

She squirms around so she can look at him, finds he's grinning. She grins back. "Like I wasn't pretending I was rooting for you and Gina for _four months_."

"Wow, that long?"

"You liked her! God, I kept thinking about how you'd start snuggling when we played video games or you'd kiss her goodbye, or--it was bad enough at New Year's!"

His amusement turns into something more akin to guilt. "Yeah, Miller told me I wasn't allowed to keep flirting with her until I told her about you, which--he was right, and it's a good thing he said it. I might have asked her out just to prove I was over you."

"I meant you kissing her," Clarke admits. 

He looks baffled. "What?"

"At New Year's."

He leans in, presses his mouth against hers, warm and slow. "Clarke. Absolutely nothing ever happened with me and Gina. I went and hid in my room at midnight on New Year's, in case she thought--I would have felt like such a dick. I could barely think straight that night. She didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"Oh."

"Yeah." He brushes his nose against hers. "I'm glad I didn't ever do anything with her, it wouldn't have--I would have been an asshole."

"You know, I don't know anything about _your_ dating history," she points out. "In the last seven years. Except for not dating Gina. You got mine."

"Not a lot more to mine than yours. I was, you know, enlisted, and my crews skewed pretty heavily male, which was nice. I'd hook up with guys who seemed interested, it was, uh--less complicated. Most of them weren't looking for anything serious, and--the one time I tried with a girl, I just couldn't stop comparing her to you. I was hoping by the time Gina came along I'd be--better." He grins. "And maybe I would have been, if you hadn't showed up and taken over my brain again."

"Wow, I feel so bad."

"Yeah, I'm obviously really upset." He leans in for another kiss. "So, I get to come home with you, right? You're not going to tell me I can't."

"You don't _have to_ ," she says, firm, and he just laughs.

"It was _my idea_ , Clarke. You're not forcing me to spend time with you. I want to."

"Then, yeah," she agrees. "You should come home with me."

*

She's a little concerned about the touching thing, now that Bellamy has brought it to her attention, but when he slides his hand into hers as they walk, she can't really say she _minds_. It's just--it's so _nice_ , knowing that he's here, having him close. She hadn't realized how much she _wasn't_ touching him before, how much she wanted to be and how much it hurt that she couldn't.

So it makes sense, how greedy she is for it. For all it's kind of embarrassing.

Raven responded to her _bringing Bellamy home_ text with, _I always wondered how thick our walls are_ , which she's taking as a good sign. Not that she thought Raven would disapprove or anything, but--well, it's probably going to be a little awkward. Raven and Bellamy don't know each other that well, and Raven is probably a little grumpy about Clarke disappearing this morning. But she's going to be happy for them anyway. Clarke's sure.

She's pretty sure everyone's going to be happy for them, actually. It's awesome.

"What do you want to do for dinner, by the way?" Bellamy asks on the train, stroking his thumb against hers. "Am I paying? Are you paying? What kind of date experience are you looking for?"

"The same kind I always was," she says, smiling. "Laid back and fun. We can get takeout so Raven can have some."

He cocks his head at her. "You aren't actually worried she's going to be upset, are you?"

"Just that I took off without telling her. Not that--I just don't usually disappear with no warning and ignore my texts. I would have been worried if she'd done that to me. And don't pretend you wouldn't be if it was Miller."

"I never said I wouldn't be." He squeezes her hand. "I'm just trying to figure out if I should be sucking up to her or what."

"Probably never hurts," Clarke says, and he laughs. 

"Great. I'll keep that in mind."

Raven's on the couch playing Skyrim when they get in, and she just gives them a look, eyes lingering on their linked hands for a second before she snorts.

"Good job. Glad all your transparent friend-zone ranting wasn't lost on him."

"It's a gross concept," Clarke grumbles. "It deserves to get taken down."

"I'm really into feminist rants," he says, straight-faced, and then nudges her. "Remind me to tell you about convincing a bunch of navy guys to ID as bi instead of just horny."

"Wow, you guys really are made for each other, huh," says Raven. "I'm gonna have to invest in earplugs."

Clarke tugs him over to the couch, and they settle in next to Raven, Clarke still tucked into his side, feeling warm and content and loved like she hasn't in so long.

Raven looks unimpressed, but in a nice way. Friendly unimpressed.

"You should be able to leverage this into hooking up with Gina, right?" Clarke asks. "That seems like it should work. Text her about how we're ridiculous and sad."

"Way ahead of you," says Raven. "I was texting her as soon as you weren't around and she was like, she's definitely hooking up with Bellamy."

"Smart girl," says Clarke. "You should keep her."

"Doing my best, yeah." She glances at Bellamy. "I'm guessing you don't need a lecture about how great Clarke is and how lucky you are she's dating you."

"Definitely not," he confirms. "Do I need to buy you dinner to get on your good side?" 

"Couldn't hurt."

"Cool, what do you guys want?"

They get Thai, and Clarke gives him a twenty to cover half, which he accepts without complaint. Raven says she's going to hang out at the bar after, but _is_ planning to come home, so they should be quiet with the sex, and Clarke rolls her eyes and doesn't know why she's embarrassed. It's not like they _aren't_ having sex. They're going to have a lot of sex, and it's going to be amazing. 

Just--it doesn't feel like anything close to the most important thing, so it's weird that's what everyone is focusing on. 

Maybe Bellamy's thinking the same thing, because he wraps his arm around her and kisses her hair. "You want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

_Ten Things I Hate About You_ is on Netflix, and Clarke hits it as soon as she sees it, making Bellamy laugh. He tangles their fingers together and squeezes.

"At least this time I'm not going to be distracted the whole movie wondering if I can kiss you."

"You were?" she asks, delighted.

"You were a hot girl on my bed, of course I was wondering if I was getting laid," he teases, and she tugs him down to kiss him again.

"Sorry I let you down," she says, and feels herself wince, instantly, because--she fucking _did_ , so--

"Clarke," he says, tugging her into his lap. "You know you can stop feeling bad, right?"

"I can?" she asks.

"Yeah." He lets out a breath. "You broke my heart, and I was pissed about it for a long time. I'm not going to pretend I wasn't. But--it's not like you were wrong to break up with me. And it's not like you were happy about it either." His smile is a little wry. "You seemed like you were pretty fucked up too."

She has to laugh. "So, what, I've felt shitty for long enough?" 

To her surprise, his expression is serious, and his thumb strokes against her shoulder. "You don't think so?"

And that's kind of the question, isn't it? If he's happy, and she's happy, and they're good, it does seem kind of stupid, to keep on feeling bad about it. She's probably felt all the guilt she needs to feel.

"I still hurt you."

"Yeah," he says. "You did." He pulls her down, kisses her again. "But it's not like I forgot about it," he says, with a small, teasing smile. "I know what happened as well as you do, Clarke. You don't have to freeze every time you mention it. I'm not going to break up with you again because I suddenly remembered you hurt me. It's not like I ever forgot."

"I know."

"But if we break up again, I'm probably not going to give you a third chance," he muses. "So be ready for that."

It's actually surreal, that he's teasing her about it. Even when he wasn't around, even when she hadn't seen him, _breaking up with Bellamy_ had been this huge _thing_ , this weight. And it got worse, when he was here, when every day she knew exactly what it cost her.

And now it's just--gone. It didn't destroy her relationship with Bellamy after all. She didn't lose him. He's _here_ , and he still loves her, and he's happy.

When she kisses him, it's long and warm and perfect, and his hands stray up under her shirt, tugging her close, almost enough to distract her from her original point.

"If I ever break up with you again, I'll be sure I mean it," she says, and he actually _laughs_. They're laughing about what was probably the worst thing that ever happened to her.

Except that it's not anymore. Maybe it won't have a happy ending, something could still go wrong, but--it's fine. They fixed it. They're back.

"You better," he says. "I want to deserve it." He gives her one soft, final kiss, and adds, "Seriously. You can stop feeling guilty. I'm good."

She slides off his lap and curls into his side so she can see the TV again. "Yeah," she says. "You are."

*

She wakes up with him wrapped around her, one of his hands still twined with hers on her stomach, his face pressed into her hair. She's warm and content and pleasantly sore, and all the marks he left on her are going to be covered by her clothes, so she doesn't have to worry about anyone seeing her hickeys.

For a second, she thinks about taking a selfie for her mother, but they haven't talked in a few months anyway, and she doesn't see any reason to break the streak now. Not when her life is going so well. _I got back together with Bellamy_ is the kind of news she should save for a special occasion. Her birthday, maybe.

Instead, she extricates herself from Bellamy's arms, steals his t-shirt from yesterday, and pulls on her own pajama bottoms to head into the kitchen.

To her surprise, Raven is already awake, sitting on the couch with her laptop, so Clarke grabs some coffee and joins her, resting her head on Raven's shoulder.

"You get that I'm not mad at you, right?" Raven asks, mild. "I don't know why you think I am, but I'm not."

"I get that, yeah." She wets her lips and admits, "I'm kind of an emotional wreck right now."

"What else is new?"

"Well, I'm a positive emotional wreck," she says. "So that's something."

"Yeah." Raven frees her arm so she can put it around Clarke's shoulders. "You guys seem disgustingly happy, so I don't see a problem here."

"Yeah, there isn't one," Clarke agrees. "I'm totally disgustingly happy and in love with him, and he loves me too, and everything is awesome. It's weird."

Raven snorts. "Yeah, only you would be complaining that you're _too happy_ , babe."

"Just getting used to it."

"Yeah, I can see that." She clucks her tongue. "Here's what I don't get."

"What?"

"Did he just call you at, like, seven in the morning to be like, hey, we should fuck? You left _so fucking early_."

It makes her laugh. "Oh, no, yeah. He emailed me Friday night. I didn't see it before I went to bed, so I just got it first thing in the morning."

Raven's eyebrows go up. "He _emailed you_?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't know. You guys have this whole, like, epic romance thing going. I didn't think epic romances involved booty-call emails. Was is it just, like, _hey, you up_ or did he go with something classy, like, _come over so we can talk about dismantling the patriarchy_?"

"It really wasn't like that," Clarke protests, but Raven looks unconvinced, which means she has no choice but to pull it up on her phone, just to prove that it really _was_ a good email. 

And maybe, just a little, so she can read it over Raven's shoulder, too. She's pretty sure she's never going to get tired of reading it.

"Okay," Raven says, after a pause. "Yeah. I would have run out of here like I was on fire too." Her eyes flick to Clarke. "You should try just being happy. It looks good on you."

"I'm working on it." She can't help a smirk. "How thick are the walls?"

"Livable," she says. "I can play music or something."

"Sorry."

Raven bumps her shoulder. "Seriously, it didn't actually bother me. You're good. Stop worrying."

It's not that hard to do, honestly. Bellamy comes out while she's in the shower, and he looks completely at home chatting with Raven on the couch. He gives her a bright, perfect smile, and she leans down to press her mouth against his for a quick kiss.

"Hey, good morning."

"Morning," he says. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah. Raven told you where to find food and coffee?"

"Yup, I'm all set." He grins. "Don't stress."

"It's like you don't even know me," she says, and curls up against his side, even though she doesn't have the same antsy, itchy feeling she had yesterday at the thought of not being in constant contact with him.

It's still _nice_.

"It's just like that," he agrees. "Am I going to be able to figure out your shower?"

"Yeah, you're smart. You were nearly a plumber."

"Shut up," he says, without heat, and it somehow doesn't feel like this big, terrible thing at all. They have a past, and it's a painful past, but--it's over.

They're better now, and probably better than they would have been if they never broke up. That's something to celebrate.

He takes a shower, and makes eggs for them for breakfast, and it's easy and normal, and she only needs to touch him every five minutes or so to reassure herself he's still there and she still can. Which, at least, he doesn't mind at all, and it seems like a generally good sign. Soon she'll be able to be away from him for a whole day.

They have board games at Monty and Jasper's at two, and the three of them head over together, and everything seems good until they're two stops away, and Bellamy says, "Oh fuck," and fumbles for his phone.

"What?"

"I haven't told O yet. About us."

"Is she going to be pissed?" Clarke asks. She sort of thought she and Octavia were, if not _good_ , fine. She didn't think Octavia would mind. If anything, she thought she'd be happy. Repairing the wounds of the past, or whatever.

"Just that I didn't tell her," he says, flashing her a smile. "It's been over twenty-four hours and I didn't immediately inform her." He frowns at his phone. "You think I should just wait until we get there, at this point?"

"She's your sister, you're the expert."

"That's overstating it." He worries his lip, typing a quick message, and when Clarke leans in, he shows it for her approval: _Did I forget to tell you I'm dating Clarke again? I feel like I forgot to tell you. I'm dating Clarke again._

She stifles her laugh against his shoulder. "Wow, yeah. That feels really natural."

"I thought so."

"And this is going to make her less angry?"

"Only one way to find out," he says, and hits send. They both watch the phone, and Bellamy startles when the ellipses pop up, but then they're gone again, and back, and gone, and there's still no reply when they get off the train.

"So she's going to murder me in person. Cool. Avenge my death."

"That sounds right," Clarke agrees, sliding her hand into his. "Seven years of separation and angst, and your sister kills you the day after we reconcile."

"If only it was because of my hubris, we'd be right out of a Greek tragedy."

Raven rolls her eyes. "Jesus Christ, you two deserve each other. I can't believe I didn't notice sooner."

"We were trying to play it cool," Clarke says, and Bellamy snorts.

"Yeah, that's us. Cool and casual."

"The coolest," she agrees, and Raven just shakes her head.

They're on the couch together when Octavia and Lincoln arrive, Clarke snuggled into Bellamy's side with her hand in his, their new standard position. She is somewhat aware that they're disgusting and over-affectionate, but it _is_ getting better. And Monty and Miller snuggle too, and Octavia and Lincoln. It's not _just_ them.

Still, Octavia takes one look at them, huffs, and tells Bellamy, "You _forgot_?"

"I was busy," he says, mild.

"Getting laid is not an acceptable excuse."

"Why not? I really wanted to get laid."

Octavia flops down in the chair next to them. "How long?"

"What time is it?"

"Two-fifteen."

"So, like--twenty-nine hours?"

Clarke can see her doing the math. "You guys got together at _nine in the morning_?"

"Yeah, you want to get it out of the way early so you can have sex for the rest of the day," he says. "Seriously, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. We had a lot to talk about. I wouldn't have told Miller if I didn't live with him."

"You didn't tell me," Miller says. "Murphy said _that blonde chick_ showed up for an early booty call and I had to text you to get you out of your room."

"None of which would have happened if we didn't live together," he shoots back, easy.

Octavia's watching Clarke now, and Clarke tries not to worry about it. She's pretty sure her happiness shows on her face, must be written all over every inch of her. She doesn't know what Octavia would be worried about, but she is sure it's not there. She's got Bellamy back, and she's not losing him again.

"You're pathetic, Bell," she finally settles on, and he presses his lips into Clarke's hair.

"Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for noticing."

*

"I'm taking you out to dinner," he tells her, once they're done with board games and Raven's gone to meet Gina.

"Yeah?"

"Don't get used to it. I'm going to start cooking for you after this to save money." He ducks his head. "But yeah, I want to take you out on a date. Just let me have this one, okay?"

"You act like I'm going to say _no_ to a date with you. You're my boyfriend. I was planning to date you."

"Yeah? Awesome." He squeezes her hand. "Feeling better?"

"You say that like I was feeling _bad_ ," she protests. "I'm feeling great, yeah."

"Cool." Another pause, and she's about to tell him to just spit it out when he asks, "Where are we sleeping tonight?"

"Do you have more clothes?" she asks, curious. She didn't see him pack.

"Yeah. You start work earlier than I do, so I figured--"

"You know you can just go home, right? I'm pretty sure I can sleep alone for a night. You don't have to worry."

"Maybe I don't want you to sleep alone for a night," he says. "I missed you too, you know. I get that I'm not going to be able to spend every night with you, but--I've got clothes, I can get to work on time, and based on the last couple days, I sleep better with you. I'm not just asking to be nice. I'd rather be with you."

She squeezes his hand, leaning in close, brushing her lips against his shoulder. "Okay, yeah. When you put it like that. You should come over tonight."

"I was hoping you'd see it my way." She can hear him swallow. "I know it's not--seriously, we don't have to do this. But I don't know why we wouldn't, if we can."

"Yeah, no," she says. "I don't either." She can't help a laugh. "I should just--stop thinking so hard, right?"

"That would be a first," he teases. "But I knew what I was getting into."

It's actually the best thing she's heard since--well, since he said he was in love with her. Because that's it, isn't it? That's what he's been trying to tell her. He knows exactly what he's getting into, knows her better than probably anyone else in the world, and he loves her. He's sure.

"You did," she agrees, face almost hurting from her own smile. "So, dinner and then back to my place?"

"Yeah," he says. "It's a date."


End file.
